Snak

A Koala bear was approached by a prostitute.
Since he had never been with a girl before, he was curious and excited. They spent all night long having sex in a hotel.
The next morning the Koala got up to leave. As he was heading for the door, the prostitute yelled, "Hey, what about my money?"
The Koala turned, gave her a puzzled look and shrugged his shoulders.
She said, "Come here," and pulled a dictionary out of her purse.
She pointed to the word "prostitute" and its definition, "Performs sexual acts for payment."
Finally understanding, the Koala borrowed her dictionary, turned to the word "Koala" and showed her, "Eats bush and leaves."

A husband comes home and says to his wife" we´ve tried 69 lets try 68" She says, "What´s that?"
He says, " you blow me and I´ll owe you one."

-

Cecil and Morris are walking to services and Cecil asks, "I wonder whether it would be all right to smoke while praying?"
"Why don´t you ask the rabbi?" says Morris.
Cecil sees Rabbi Golden and asks, "Rabbi, is it permissible for me to smoke while I pray?"
"No, you may not. That´s utter disrespect to our religion and traditions!" quickly answers the rabbi.
Cecil goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Rabbi told him.
"I´m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
Morris goes over to the rabbi and asks, "Rabbi, will it be ok if I pray while I smoke?"
To which Rabbi Golden eagerly replies, "By all means, my good man. By all means."


BR

he...he....den var god

Two men walk into a bar. One sits at one end of the bar and the other at the opposite end. The bartender asks the first man what he wants.
I´ll have a Frizzle...that´s a beer with a splash of tonic, a splash of orange juice, a squeeze of lemon, no lime."
Then the man at the other end of the bar orders. "Make mine a Frizzle.It´s a beer with just a bit of tonic, a bit of orange juice, a squeeze of lemon, but no lime."
The astonished bartender makes the drinks. Then he asks the first man what he does for a living.
"I am a theoretical mathematician at the university."
Then he asks the other man what he does.
"Theoretical mathematician at the college."
"This is remarkable," says the bartender. "You both order a drink that I´ve never heard of. You have the identical profession and you both walk into my bar on the same day at the same time. What are the odds on something like that happening?"
Both men look up and answer in unison, "Twelve trillion, nine hunderd, and eighty-seven billion to one."


BR

Der sad to bøsser i et badekar, pludselig den ene til den anden, har du sæben i din ende.

A guy was in a bad car accident and after months of recovery he still had a problem. He had to have his penis amputated.
He went to see the doctor and was reassured that he could help.
"First of all you have to pick a new penis," said the doctor.
The physician picked up a box from his table and said, "This is our 6 inch standard model. It is dependable and will cost you only $6000. It comes with a lifetime guarantee."
The man said, "Okay, that´s about right, but what´s in the other box?"
"This is our 9 inch super model. 9 inches of muscle to please any women. But this will cost you $9,000."
The man said, "Oh yeah, that´s the one I want. My wife will love me forever. But does it also come with a lifetime guarantee?"
"Yes"
"What´s in the third box?"
The doctor picked up yet another box from his desk. "This is our super deluxe model. It´s 12 inches of all beef and will drive all the ladies wild. But if you want this much power you´ll have to pay $12,000."
The man is really on a roll and is tickled pink. "Doc, that´s it, that´s the one for me. I´ll be the envy of everyone I know. But does it have a lifetime guarantee?"
"YES SIR!"
The man had just one more question, "Does it come in white?"


BR

-Har du hørt de tragiske nyhetene, at Tottis bibliotek har brent ned?

-Ja, begge bøkene ble ødelagt. Totti ble veldig lei seg fordi han hadde ikke rukket å fargelegge den andre.

Sophie Ellis-Bexter has been found head-butted to death in a house in the South of France belonging to a famous French footballer............. the Police have confirmed that it was Murder On Zidanes Floor.

www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com

Morsomt eller tragisk?