Snak

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I´m doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" The mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?
"After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

BR

endnu en klasse vittighed!

Jimmy and Tommy have been friends for years, but after each of them married and fathered children they found their interactions becoming less and less infrequent.
They decided a weekend hiking and camping in the woods would give them a chance to catch up. So away they went, hiking up into the White Mountains.

The first day was great, enjoying each others company.
But at breakfast the second morning they started to feel tired of each other. Jimmy decided to go fishing on his own. Tommy decided to go for a hike along the railroad tracks he had seen on the way in.

Meeting again at dinner time, Jimmy was animated with stories about the wild trout he caught. Tommy, too, was all smiles. “What did you do today, Tommy?” asked Jimmy.

“You aren’t going to believe this, but I’ll tell you anyway. I was walking along the railroad tracks, and came upon a beautiful woman, totally naked, tied to the tracks, so I untied her, and we spent the afternoon making love, it was wonderful!” Tommy offered.

“You’re kidding me, you lucky Son-Of-A-Gun” said Jimmy. “Tell me, did she give you a blow job?” Jimmy inquired.

“Naw,” answered Tommy, “I never found her head”.

BR

To it-nørder sad og talte på en bar efter arbejde.

"Ved du hvad. I går mødte jeg en fantastisk blondine på en bar," siger den ene af nørderne.

"Hvad gjorde du så," spurgte den anden.

"Jo, jeg inviterede hende hjem, og vi fik et par drinks. Vi kom i stemningen og så bad hun mig pludselig om at tage alt hendes tøj af," forklarede den første.

"Du tager pis på mig," siger den anden nørd, men den første fortsætter:

"Så tog jeg hendes miniskørt af og løftede hende op på bordet ved siden af min nye bærbare."

"Er det rigtigt? Har du fået en ny bærbar?

Hehe, fik den i går (på engelsk), Maverick.

Mænd er som myg, de kommer lige og dykker snablen og så ser man dem aldrig igen!

Hvis mænd er ligeså irriterende som myg, er det vel kun en fordel, at vi smutter med det samme igen?

Noget andet er - hvis koblingen skal gøres - får jeg blod på snablen når jeg dypper den, smutter jeg fan´me også med det samme.

Tech support: "Okay Colin, let´s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the lette r "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don´t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I´M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

BR

Jimmy and Tommy have been friends for years, but after each of them married and fathered children they found their interactions becoming less and less infrequent.
They decided a weekend hiking and camping in the woods would give them a chance to catch up. So away they went, hiking up into the White Mountains.

The first day was great, enjoying each others company.
But at breakfast the second morning they started to feel tired of each other. Jimmy decided to go fishing on his own. Tommy decided to go for a hike along the railroad tracks he had seen on the way in.

Meeting again at dinner time, Jimmy was animated with stories about the wild trout he caught. Tommy, too, was all smiles. “What did you do today, Tommy?” asked Jimmy.

“You aren’t going to believe this, but I’ll tell you anyway. I was walking along the railroad tracks, and came upon a beautiful woman, totally naked, tied to the tracks, so I untied her, and we spent the afternoon making love, it was wonderful!” Tommy offered.

“You’re kidding me, you lucky Son-Of-A-Gun” said Jimmy. “Tell me, did she give you a blow job?” Jimmy inquired.

“Naw,” answered Tommy, “I never found her head”.

http://ekstrabladet.dk/112/article329769.ece

"It´s funny ´cause its true!"