Snak

Ifølge Brøndby har de takket nej til en ny sponsor...
Det drejer sig om jyske bank... Per Bjerregaard udtaler, at det får de rigeligt af i forvejen!

hohoho...

A guy is strolling along Vegas Strip when a stunning hooker catches his eye.
He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks, "How much?"
The hooker replies, "$500 for a hand-job."
The guy´s jaw drops: "$500 dollars for a hand-job! No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"
The hooker says, "Do you see that Hard Rock cafe on the corner?"
"Yes."
"Do you see the cafe about a block further down?"
"Yes."
"And beyond that, do you see that third cafe?"
"Yes."
"Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a hand-job that´s worth $500."
The guy says, "What the hell? I´ll give it a try."
They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?"
The hooker replies, "$1,500."
"$1,500? No blow-job could be worth that."
The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. See that casino just across the street? I own it. And I own it because I give a blow-job that´s worth every cent of $1,500."
The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, says, "Sign me up."
Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can´t believe it but he feels he truly got his money´s worth. He decides to dip into the pension savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience.
He asks the hooker, "How much for some pussy?"
The hooker says, "Come over here to the window. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?"
"Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?"
"No," the hooker replies, "but I would if I had a pussy."

-

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple´s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that´s red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that´s the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what´s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

BR

En børnelokker går ude i skoven med et af hans ofre, det ved at blive aften og mørket er så småt ved at falde på. Barnet udbrydder"Ihh hvor er her altså bare uhyggeligt herude i skoven". Børnelokker vender sig mod barnet og svarer"tja det har du ret i, og det værste er at jeg skal gå alene hjem senere"

En ældre mand spørger i en bar en ung pige, om hun vil gå i seng med ham for 10 millioner kroner. Efter lidt betænkningstid siger hun ja.

- Nej, vent. Jeg vil kun give 100 kroner, siger han så.

- Hvad fanden regner du mig for, svarer pigen vredt, hvortil manden kun kan smile:

- Ja, det har vi lige fundet ud af. Nu diskuterer vi bare prisen...

En cowboy stod og ville skyde 7 mænd.

Han gav dem lov til at reklamer deres tro inden han skød dem.

Den ene kunne ikke bestemme sig for hvilken tro han havde, og de andre sagde derfor: "Vi er stærke i troen. Vi går først så kan du vælge din tro efter hvordan det går os".

Den første mand sagde:
"Jeg er Muslim, min tro er stærk, Allah beskytter mig. BANG DØD!"

Den næste:
"Jeg er jøde, min tro er stærk, Jahve beskytter mig. BANG DØD!"

Den tredje:
"Jeg er protestant, Gud beskyt mig! BANG DØD!"

Den fjerde:
"Jeg er katolik, gud er med mig. BANG DØD!"

Den femte:
"Jeg er hindu, jeg tror på reinkarnation bare skyd mig. BANG DØD!"

Den sjette:
"Jeg er Budist, jeg bliver genfødt. BANG DØD!"

Så siger den sidste:
"Jeg er ateist og jeg ved at der kun er 6 skud i en seksløber så jeg er skredet."

Manden og konen sidder i sofaen, sammen om aftnen.

Manden: Skat, jeg vil egentlig godt vædde med du ikke kan sige noget som både gør mig glad og ked af det!

Konen: Hmm.. Du har en større pik end din bror..

hehe

Den skaldede mand kravler op mellem lårene på den blinde luder. Hun rækker ned og mærker hans isse og siger:
DEN DER kommer du lige lidt creme på.