Snak

Mere indhold efter annoncen
Redigeretfre 25. jan 2008
An Englishman and a Scotsman were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer.
After a while the Scotsman says to the Englishman, "If I was to sneak over to your house and shag your wife while you were off fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"
"The Englishman crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, "Well, I don´t know about being related, but it would make us even."

BR
You can\'t be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER. Frank Zappa
Redigeretman 28. jan 2008
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh! Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males , 2 Females," he replied.
"How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.

BR
You can\'t be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER. Frank Zappa
Redigerettirs 29. jan 2008
A blonde called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They´ve stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried.
The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."
A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."

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You can\'t be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER. Frank Zappa
Redigeretons 30. jan 2008
steffen brandt har forladt tv2 og james sampson er deres nye forsanger, så de har skiftet navn til tv2 zulu
ons 30. jan 2008
Hvornår det værst at have bind for øjnene?!
- Når det er brugt.

ARGH!!!
Mere indhold efter annoncen
Annonce
Redigeretons 30. jan 2008
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don´t know. I´ll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I´ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who´s at the door."

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You can\'t be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER. Frank Zappa
man 25. feb 2008
Hvor mange mænd skal der til at åbne en bajer?
Ingen. Den skal være åben når hun kommer med den.

Hvorfor har kvinder mindre fødder end mænd?
Det er en af de der udviklingsting, der gør, at de kan stå tættere på køkkenvasken.

Hvordan ved du, at en kvinde vil til at sige noget klogt?
Når hun starter med "Min mand har fortalt mig...."

Hvordan reparerer du en kvindes armbåndsur?
Du reparerer det ikke. Der er ur i komfuret.

Hvorfor fiser mænd oftere end kvinder?
De kan holde munden lukket så længe, som det kræves for at opbygge det nødvendige tryk.

Hvis din hund gør ved bagdøren og din kone skriger ved fordøren, hvem
lukker du så ind først?
Hunden. Fordi den holder kæft så snart du lukker den ind.

Alle hustruer er ens.
De har bare forskellige ansigter så vi kan kende dem fra hinanden.

Jeg har ikke talt til min kone i 18 måneder.
Jeg nænner ikke at afbryde hende.

Bigami er at have en kone for meget.
Mange mænd mener, at monogami er det samme.

Forskere har opdaget mad, der sænker en kvindes sexlyst med 90%
Det kaldes bryllupskage.

Sidste gang vi sloges, var det min skyld. Hun spurgte "Hvad er der på
TV"
Jeg svarede "Støv"

I begyndelsen skabte GUD jorden og hvilede. Så skabte GUD manden og hvilede.
Så skabte GUD kvinden og siden har hverken GUD eller manden hvilet.

Min kone og jeg er uadskillige.
Sidst tog det 4 urobetjente og en hund 20 minutter, at skille os ad.

Hvorfor dør mænd før deres koner?
Fordi de ønsker det.

Hvad er straffen for bigami?
2 svigermødre.

Sønnen: "Far er det sandt, at i dele af Afrika kender manden først
konen, når de er gift?
Far: "Det sker over hele jorden min søn".

Manden indrykkede en annonce i Ekstra Bladet "Kone søges" Næste dag fik
han hundredevis af breve.
De sagde alle det samme "Du må få min"

Den mest effektive måde at huske konens fødselsdag på er at glemme den
en enkelt gang.

En tigger gik op til den velklædte dame, der shoppede i Magasin og sagde
"Jeg har ikke spist noget i fire dage"
Hun kiggede på ham og svarede "Bare jeg havde din viljestyrke"

Hvad kalder man en kvinde, der har mistet 95% af sin intelligens?
Fraskilt.


BR
You can\'t be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER. Frank Zappa
man 25. feb 2008
Hvor mange hjerneceller har kvinder?
-4, en til hver kogeplade
'This world is about money, so when you are offered those millions you take them. Few people will ever earn so many. I am one of the few fortunates who do. I may be one of the worst buys in the history of the Premiership but I don't care.'
tirs 26. feb 2008
Manden sidder i baren, og kvinden ved siden af ham siger: "Mmmh! du dufter godt! hvad har du på?
Manden kigger på hende og siger: "jeg har jern på, men det troede jeg sku ikke man ku´ lugte!"
Nordens største!1
ons 27. feb 2008
en form for vittighed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWxn7lTRPG0
Annonce
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