Snak

A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a Starbuck´s cafe one day discussing who had the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, ´Well, we Greeks built the Parthenon,´ arching his eyebrows.
The Irishman then replies, ´Well... it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.´
The Greek retorts, ´We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics.´
The Irishman, nodding in agreement, says, ´Irish were the ones who built the first timepieces and calendars.´
And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, ´The Greeks were the ones who invented sex!´
The Irishman replies, ´Indeed, that is true, but it was we Irish who introduced it to women.´

BR

Prinsesse Marie´s fødder var hævede efter brylluppet, og skoene klemte.
Prins Joachim måtte derfor, som den gentleman han er, hjælpe hende med at få skoene af.
Det var ikke nogen let sag, og han pustede og stønnede en del.
Uden for bryllupssuiten stod Dronning Margrethe og Prins Henrik klinet op ad døren, for at sikre sig, at alt gik rigtigt for sig. Prins Joachim arbejdede hårdt på sagen, og Prinsesse Marie klynkede let over sine ømme tæer. Endelig røg den første sko. "Åhh, den var godt nok stram," stønnede Prins Joachim. Uden for døren stod Dronning Margrethe med et lykkeligt smil.

Hun kiggede kærligt på Prins Henrik og sagde: "Jeg vidste, hun var jomfru." Indenfor baksede Prins Joachim videre med den anden sko. Efter megen asen og masen fik han den endelig af. "Åhh, den var endnu strammere end den første," sagde Prins Joachim pustende.

Med et bredt smil og tårer i øjnene sagde Prins Henrik: "DET er min søn."

Hahaha!

Jeg havde udfordret min mand til at ta´ sin del af husarbejdet, og dermed bestemte han sig for at vaske sin bluse af sig selv. Han havde været i vaskerummet i ca. to sekunder da han råbte: ´Hvilket program skal jeg bruge?´
´Det kommer lidt an på´, svarede jeg, ´Hva står det på blusen?´
´Manchester United´, svarede han.

BR

have you heard the good news?

Josef Fritzl has been sentenced to to the death penalty.. Unfortunately John Terry is taking it

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Höhøhö ..

The doorbell rings, guy opens the door and looks down at a snail, he picks it up and throws it away.

2 years later the doorbell rings again, guy opens the door, and the snail goes :*What the fuck was that all about*!?

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A married couple walks in to a talent agent´s office, carrying two suitcases. They claim they have an interesting act. Talent agent says:*Well, go ahead!*

The wife opens one of the suitcases and takes out a huge hammer, and smashes the husband in the face, knocking him out, leaving him unconscious on the office floor.

After a while the man gets on his feet. As they are leaving the office, the talent agent asks:*What´s in the other suitcase?*

The man goes:*Tylenol*.

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ha ah ha.... men øhhhh..... hvad er tylenol?????

Det amerikanske svar på panodil.

A couple take on an 18 year old girl as a lodger.
She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn´t have a bathroom and she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.
"Mondays the best night, when my husband goes out to darts", she said, so the girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.
After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched as the girl got undressed.
She was surprised to see that the lass didn´t have any pubic hair and told her husband when he came home.
He didn´t believe her so she said, "Next week I´ll leave a gap in the curtains so that you can see for yourself".
The following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked, "Do you shave?"
"No", replied the girl. "I´ve just never grown any hairs down there. Do you have hairs?"
"Oh yes", said the woman and she showed off her great, hairy muff.
When the husband got back in she asked, "Did you see it?"
"Yes", he said. "But why did you have to show her yours?"
"Why not?" she said. "You´ve seen it all before."
"I know", he said, "but the f***ing darts team hasn´t"!

BR

""I know", he said, "but the f***ing darts team hasn´t"!"

HAHA!