Snak

Something about temperatures:

+15°C / 59°F
This is as warm as it gets in Norway, so we´ll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Norvegians are out in the sun, getting a tan.

+10°C / 50°F
The French are trying in vain to start their central heating.
The Norvegians plant flowers in their gardens.

+5°C / 41°F
Italian cars won´t start.
The Norvegians are cruising in cabriolets.

0°C / 32°F
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Oslo Fjord gets a little thicker.

-5°C / 23°F
People in California almost freeze to death.
The Norvegians have their final barbecue before winter.

-10°C / 14°F
The Brits start the heat in their houses.
The Norvegians start using long sleeves.

-20°C / -4°F
The Aussies flee from Mallorca.
The Norvegians end their Midsummer celebrations.
Autumn is here.

-30°C / -22°F
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth.
The Norvegians start drying their laundry indoors.

-40°C / -40°F
Paris start cracking in the cold.
The Norvegians stand in line at the hotdog stands.

-50°C / -58°F >
Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.
The Norvegian army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

-70°C / -94°F
The false Santa moves south.
The Norvegian army goes out on winter survival training.

-183°C / -297.4°F
Microbes in food don´t survive.
The Norvegian cows complain that the farmers´ hands are cold.

-273°C / -459.4°F
ALL atom-based movent halts.
The Norvegians start saying "Faen, it´s cold outside today."

-300°C / -508°F
Hell freezes over.
Norway wins the Eurovision Song Contest.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH:

1. Two World Wars and One World Cup.

2. Warm beer.

3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.

4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.

5. Union jack underpants.

6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.

7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.

8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.

9. Ditto changing underwear.

10. Beats being Welsh.

BR

Hvorfor faldt Holger om i klitterne?



































































Han Drachmann

Pink...udmærket!

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN:

1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.

2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.

3. No need to worry about tax returns.

4. Glorious military history prior to 400BC.

5. Can wear sunglasses indoors.

6. Political stability.

7. Flexible working hours.

8. Live near the Pope.

9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend´s armpit hair.

10. Country run by Sicilians.

BR

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Ok ok,give them a second chance:

1. Oktoberfest.

2. Okotberfest-beer.

3. BMW.

4. VW.

5. Audi.

6. Mercedes.

7. On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail in any other country.

8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language.

9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.

10. Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law (yet).

BR

Beerhunter

Er der nogensinde nogen der har grinet eller så meget som smilet når du har prøvet at sige noget sjovt?

Stram dog op, menneske. Hvis du ikke synes vittighederne er sjove, så lad være med at læse dem.

Hvordan ved jeg om de er sjove inden jeg har læst dem?

Du må gætte. Under alle omstændigheder vil det være en idé at undgå smagløse kommentarer som den ovenfor.