Snak

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :

1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.

2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.

3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.

4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.

5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it´s the real thing.

6. Honesty.

7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight
clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.

8. You get to eat bull´s testicles.

9. Gibraltar.

10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

-

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :

1. It beats being an American.

2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground.

3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.

4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground.

5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?

6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity
ratings will rise.

7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground.

8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their
skins.

9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.

10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to
the ground.

-

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN :

1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bar steward that no
civilized nation on earth wanted.

2. Fosters Lager.

3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000
years because you think it belongs to you.

4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.

5. Tact and sensitivity.

6. Bondi Beach.

7. Other beaches.

8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.

9. Drinking cold lager on the beach.

10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.

-

Hej Øl-jæger.
Du er som regel morsom,men nu begynder du at være triviel. Kan du ikke finde en ny genre?

Der er da helt klart nogle guldkorn imellem.

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O´Leary ´s apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.
Michael O´Conner looks around and asks, ´Oh, me boys, someone got´s to tell Paddy´s wife. Who will it be?´
They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don´t make a bad situation any worse.
´Discreet??? I´m the most discreet Irishmen you´ll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me.´
Gallagher goes over to Murphy´s house and knocks on the door.
Mrs. Murphy answers, and asks what he wants.
Gallagher declares,´Your husband just lost $500, and is afraid to come home.´
´Tell him to drop dead!´, says Murphy´s wife.
´I´ll go tell him.´ says Gallagher.

BR

Sjovt de spiller om $ i Irland

Reelt set står der vel ingen steder i vittigheden, at den foregår i Irland. Der findes trods alt en del irere i Staterne.

Minus til mig for irrelevans.

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn´t get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
´Doesn´t matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.´

BR

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he´d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut, and bruised, and he´s walking with a limp.
´What happened to you?´ asks Sean, the bartender.´
’Jamie O´Conner and me had a fight,´ says Paddy.
´That little O´Conner,´ says Sean, ´He couldn´t do that to you, he must have had something in his hand.´
´That he did,´says Paddy, ´a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin´ he gave me with it.´
´Well,´says Sean ,´you should have defended yourself. Didn´t you have something in your hand?´
’That I did,´ said Paddy, ´Mrs. O´Conner´s breast, and a thing of beauty it was; but useless in a fight.´

BR