Snak

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area.
Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!".
Buddy didn´t move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!"
Buddy didn´t respond. Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.
The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn´t even try!"

BR

En kvinde tager til Lægen for at tjekke sine skader, som hendes mand havde påført hende gennem vold.

Hun siger så til lægen. "Jeg bliver mishandlet som en æsel, pisket som en hest, og slået som en rotweiler.

















Så siger lægen "hvad laver du her?. Tag til dyrlægen".

Hvad er ligheden mellem OB og Fedtmule?


De er begge klodsede at se på.

Dommeren kiggede strengt på den høje flotte blondine, som var indkaldt til at vidne mod sin chef.
Dommeren: "De er vel godt klar over hvor meget de får for at vidne falsk?"
Blondinen: "Ja, min chef snakkede om et par tusinde mere om måneden og en vinterferie med alt betalt."

Judi, the blonde, runs crying into the office. "What´s wrong?" gasps her best friend Carol. "It´s my boyfriend. He was working on the engine under the hood of his car when the lid came down and cut off a finger!" "My god," shrieks Carol. "Did it amputate his whole finger?"

"No, thank goodness," sniffs Judi. "But it was the one just next to it!"

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar the game´s over!"

BR

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ´No change yet.´

BR

Home Alone
A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door.

It´s opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm.

Salesman: "Hello son. Is your mom or dad home?"

Little boy: "What do you think??!!"

Hvad er ligheden mellem kvinder og havefliser???

Ligger man dem rigtigt ned første gang kan man træde på dem resten af livet.

(Jeg tror det hedder lægger.)

Hvad er ligheden mellem gødning og blondineben?

Begge dele skal spredes ud for at gøre gavn!