Snak

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, ´PULL OVER!´
´NO!´ the blonde yelled back, ´IT´S A SCARF!´

BR

Q: Ved i hvorfor hunrejer er dyrere end hanrejer?

A: De piller sig selv i dåsen.

Justin Bieber always sings about girls. She must be a lesbian.

Lidt infantil, men meget sjovt...

I went to see a psychic last weekend and she told me that I´d be coming into money. Last night I shagged a girl called Penny! Spooky or what?.

I was in court again yesterday and the judge asked why i keep beating my wife.

I said it was definately my height advantage, quicker feet, longer reach and possibly she cant handle my southpaw style.

I must have really ****ed off my wife when I tried erotic asphyxiation on her when we were having sex. She´s been lying there for five days now, giving me the silent treatment.

:)

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead".

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that´s the one."

"Damn! That´s a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse. "

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"

"Yes, Senor Rod."

"But there´s electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"

"Your wife´s, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."


SILENCE........... LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE.


"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you´re in deep shit."

BR

“Everybody makes mistakes.” – Marlon King.

Det rygtes at David Beckham har fået børn med en på 16..........
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