Snak

4. gæsterne er altid stive

og denne?

og for Razz´ vedkommende:

4. gæsterne er altid stive

ja gid det var så vel.

3eren er da også en sandhed med modifikationer... ØV for dårlige erfaringer.

Alle børnene hedder Fernando Morientes undtagen Peter Møller, han hedder Rudi Völler...

Den er da ikke specielt god. Kan ikke helt se anden mening i den undtagen at den rimer.

Alle børnene var virile hingste, undtagen Michael Ballack...han var en vallak!

Tak skal I have!

Tak

Tak...

fisker>>
Det er også hensigten med den slags vitser..

Alle børnene sprang ind i en bus, undtagen Peter, han nåede ikke den sidste meter.

Alle brugerne fortalte vittigheder i vittighedstråden, undtagen Bob. Han holdt pludselig op.

Man´s 5 most feared questions:

1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth).

Therefore, as a public service, each question is analysed below along with
possible responses.


Question 1: What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I´m sorry if I have been a bit
pensive darling. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful,
caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which
most likely is one of the following:

a. Nothing
b. Football
c. Jennifer Lopez
d. How fat you are
e. How would I spend the insurance money if you died

Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who
once told Peg: "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to
you."


Question 2: Do you love me?

The proper response is: "YES" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is necessary: "Yes, dear."

Inappropriate responses include:

a. Oh yeah, sh*t loads
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love
d. Does it matter
e. Who, me?


Question 3: Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!!"

Among the incorrect answers are:

a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn´t call you fat, but you´re not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I´ve seen fatter.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.



Question 4: Do you think she is prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!!"

Incorrect responses include:

a. Yes, but you have a better personality
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
d. Define "pretty"
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.


Question 5: What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question. (The real answer of course is "Buy a Ferrari and a
boat".)

No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up
questions, usually along these lines:

WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!

WOMAN: Why not? Don´t you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.

WOMAN: Then why wouldn´t you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I´d get married again.

WOMAN: You would? (with a hurt look on her face)
MAN: (makes audible groan)

WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?

WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures and replace them with pictures of
her?
MAN: That would seem the proper thing to do.

WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: She can´t. She´s left-handed.

WOMAN: ...silence...
MAN: Sh*t

Hæhæ, Acheron...