Snak

Bloke walks into a pub and asks for a pint of anything except Stella.
Barman asks, "What´s wrong with Stella?"
Bloke says, "I had 12 pints of Stella last night and when I came round I was fucking skint."
Barman says, "12 pints of anything costs about the same."
Bloke replies, "Skint´s my dog."

BR

School is like a boner. It´s long and hard, unless you´re asian.

EDIT: nevermind. Lær at læse!

Edit:

Så pyt da. Jeg sletter den lige alligevel. :)

They found out who killed OJ´s wife. It was his kids. They asked to go outside and he said "go axe your mom".

´Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient´.

´Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly´.

´Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent´.

´Squirrel who runs up womans´ leg will not find nuts´.

´Man who stands on toilet is high on pot´.

´Man who fish in other man´s well often catch crabs´.

´A lion will not cheat on his wife, but a Tiger Wood!´

Doktoren til patienten:
D - "Hvis ikke du snart holder op med drikke whisky lever du ikke længe."
P - "Sludder med dig doktor. Min lever fejler da intet.."
D - "Det kan godt være, men det er min whisky du drikker...

Hvad er ligheden imellem Pippi Langstrømpe og Sydafrika?

De har begge en abe der hedder Nelson.

A Taxan walks into O´Malley´s pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin´ motherfuckers. I´ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes the Taxan´s offer. One man - an Irishman - even leaves.
30 minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder.
"Is your bet still good?" he asks. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.
The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don´t mind me askin´ where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

The Irishman replies, "To O´Halloran´s pub down the street to see if I could do it."

En mand hopper ud fra runde tårn, og smasker ned på gaden. Han dør dog ikke, men ligger og raller.
En vældigt postyr opstår omkring manden, og en politimand kommer til. Politimanden tilser den smadrede mand og spørger ham:
"hvad i alverden er der sket?", hvortil manden svarer "aner det ikke, jeg er lige kommet".

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Hvad er ligheden mellem sex og et skænderi?

Først bliver man ophidset. Så skriger man. Og til sidst ender det altid med, at manden undskylder.

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En dværg kommer ind på et værtshus.
En af gæsterne spørger ham:
- "Spiller du kort?"
- "Nej, jeg er født sådan."