Snak

Acheron 3
i dag 12:34


Sv: Man United-tråden

http://www.theguardian.c…ster-united

:-)

Nok ikke alle kommer i "Man United-tråden", så dem der ikke gør, de skal ikke gå glip af dette:

https://audioboo.fm/boos…oboo#t=0m0s

Når wand skiftes ud med willy i Harry Potter.

http://9gag.com/gag/aBK0W7P

Minder om denne gamle klassiker:
http://bash.org/?111338

John O´Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here´s to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife !"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night !

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of The night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here´s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John´s drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at The pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he´s only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell
asleep".

BR

Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself.
Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"
The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"
"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I´m the goalie!"

BR

The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative voice demanded to know how many vehicles were operational.
Jim answered, ´´We´ve got twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-arsed colonel swanks around in.´´
There was a stony silence for a second or two.

´´Do you know who you are speaking to?´´

´´No,´´ said Paddy.

´´It is the so-called fat-arsed colonel you so insubordinately referred to.´´

´´Well, do you know who you are talking to?´´

´´No,´´ roared the colonel.

´´Well thank goodness for that,´´ said Paddy as he hung up the phone.

BR

Once there was a blonde who wanted to prove to people that she wasn´t just a dumb blonde. So she asked her friend "how could I show people I´m not just a dumb blonde?"

Her friend says, "First learn all the provinces and their capitals."

So that week the blonde learned them. The next week she was at a party and a man asked a question. The blonde says, "I know the anwser!"

Then the man said "What would you know? You´re just a dumb blonde?"

Then the blonde says, "I´ll have you know I´m not just a dumb blonde, I know all the provinces and their capitals."

Then the man said, "Okay, Saskatchewan."

The blonde started to grin.

"What are you grinning about?" said the man.

The blonde said, "Easy. S."

BR

A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven.

Next in line is a preacher. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book, furrows his brow and says, "OK, we´ll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."

The preacher is shocked and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie!"

St. Peter responds matter-of-factly, "This is Heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."

BR

"Well, I finally retired my old car", said the old man.
His pal ask, "Did you junk it or trade it in?"
"Naw nothing like that, I put four new Michelins on it."

BR

Hvad er ligheden mellem spinat og analsex?

- Hvis du er blevet tvunget til det som barn, vil du hade det som voksen.