Snak

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question...

BR

My friend told me he had the body of a Greek god. I had to explain to him that Buddha is not Greek.

When I was single I had this old aunt that use to come up to me at family weddings and poke me in the ribs and say, "You’re next."
She stopped after I did the same to her at a funeral.

Paddy´s fingers...

Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers.

He went to the emergency room in Cork´s hospital.

The doctor looked at Paddy and said, ´Lets be avin´ da fingers and I´ll see what oi can do".

Paddy said, ´Oi haven´t got da fingers.´

´Whadda ya mean you haven´t got da fingers?

Lord Tunderin´ Jesus, it´s 2015! We´s got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put dem back on and made you like new!

Why didn´t ya bring da fingers?!?´

And Paddy replied,

´ How da fock was I ´spose to pick them up!!!

Two kids are playing football in a park in Manchester, when one of the kids is suddenly attacked by a huge rottweiler, luckily the other kid finds a plank of wood and shoves it in the dogs collar and twists it and breaks the dogs neck!
A man also in the park witnesses this and says to the kid "That was amazing! I´m a journalist for the Manchester Evening news, i would like to write an article about what just happened
He starts writing a headline "United fan saves friend from ...dog", the kid says "I´m not a United fan".
He starts again "City fan saves friend from dog". Kid says "I´m not a City fan".
The journalist asks "Who do you support then", the kid answers "Liverpool".
The journalists starts again "Scouse bastard murders family pet in cold blood!"

My girlfriend insists that footballing clichés are not a suitable birthday gift, but I´ve seen them given.

RANDERS-OPDATERINGER...

Christian Keller har mistet sit anførerbind.

Jonas Borring har lovet at se efter, om det skulle ligge i soveværelset...

0-0-0

Både Alexander Fischer og Viktor Lundberg har for nylig fået klip i kørekortet for dramatiske hastighedsoverskridelser i småbyer.

De havde i begge tilfælde hørt, at Christian Kellers bil holdt ude foran deres bopæl...

Det lyder som noget der er taget fra "Hyggehjørnet" eller "Siden for Tosser" på Facebook.

After drinking, men talk unnecessarily, become emotional,,drive badly, stop thinking, fight for nothing.
Women can do all these without drinking!

Joakim von And er på vej til Storbritannien. . Han har hørt der er guld I Leicester.